Blog

Author Archives: IYSL

 The Teen Moms Look Back as Series Ends 

Posted on by

It’s time to say goodbye to Farrah, Maci, Catelynn and Amber. We’ve followed them through challenges, heartbreak and successes these last four years but we knew this day had to come—tonight is the series finale of Teen Mom.

So as we get the tissue ready (because seriously who doesn’t cry at least once during any Teen Mom episode) let’s reflect with Catelynn, Maci and Farrah on the lessons learned over the years on Teen Mom:

 

On being careful with money:

++ Catelynn: Pay your bills first, then buy what you want after. I always pay my bills first, stick a little bit in savings and buy some groceries.

++Maci: I always made sure everything was one time. I quit spending money completely. The only thing I spent money on besides bills was groceries and gas.  I had to do it and now I’ve done it for so long I trained myself. But it was definitely scary.

On making time for everything:

++Farrah: Trying to balance was my hardest thing because I couldn’t see Sophia between full time work and full time school.

On watching friends move on:

++Maci:  [My friends] were all going to school together. They all moved, they had dorm rooms together and I was just stuck in Chattanooga with Bently. I was kind of like “Wow this is what I would have been doing if I didn’t have Bently. “

On beating the statistics and graduating from college:

++Farrah: [Graduating] for me meant that I COULD achieve something…it just felt good. I’m definitely happy.

On healthy communication:

++Catelynn: [Therapy] helped us communicate and express our feelings. It really helped with our communication and now we can sit down as civil people and just talk…I think the secret to keeping a couple together is communication, you have to have trust.

On dealing with complicated relationships:

++Maci: [Ryan and I] were just so young, we didn’t know any better…We tried everything we could and it just didn’t work out. The Ryan that I fell in love with, we aren’t the same people that we were before. The adults that we grew into, we would just never work out.

On helping other teen moms:

++Catelynn: I never really knew I wanted to be an adoption counselor until I really started to counsel girls. I would go to the hospitals with them and just be there for them. [What I want to be] are called pregnancy counselors so even if a girl chooses to parent or chooses adoption I’m there for them either way.

Teen Mom was a ground-breaking show that opened all our eyes to what life is really like as a young mom. The choices you make today can change your future forever, and the girls showed us all what that really means.

Learn What Works and What Doesn’t to prevent pregnancy at It’s Your Sex Life.

 Teen Mom: Back to School?? 

Posted on by

The real world is closing in on some of the the teen mom’s this week.

Last night we found out Catelynn and Tyler won’t be hitting the books this coming fall semester. Uh, what?! After realizing they might be studying for the wrong major, the two decide to put college on pause while they do some research on which major better suits them. However, Tyler’s mom is freaking out and well, so is everyone else. Do you think they’ll go back to school next semester? Let’s hope these two can figure out what they need to do in order to get a degree, especially since they promised their cute little Carly that they will do whatever it takes to finish school.

Did you know? Less than half of teen moms under 18 ever graduate from high school and fewer than 2% earn a college degree by age 30. Let’s cross our fingers & hope Catelynn doesn’t become part of a statistic…

Then there’s Maci dealing with drama from Ryan AND his new girlfriend, Dalis. After Maci tweeting how it would be better if Ryan and her got back together for Bentley’s sake Dalis definitely didn’t like the sound of that, causing Ryan to side with Dalis. It’s obvious that Maci is still trying to figure out balancing the needs of a child and the complications of her relationship with Ryan. One thing is for sure, it doesn’t look like Ryan will be making his way back to Maci anytime soon.

Remember, a baby won’t make him stay- 8 out of 10 teen fathers don’t marry the mother of their child.

Learn how to take control of your sex life and find out What Works and What Doesn’t when it comes to protection.

 Teen Mom: Butch Goes Back to Jail for Domestic Abuse 

Posted on by

In last night’s episode, things got really rough between several of the shows couples.

Amber is back from rehab and working on getting her life back on track, including getting more time to see Leah. Unfortunately, spending time with her daughter isn’t going as smoothly as she wants either. This also means we’re starting to see signs of the old-Amber definitely coming back. Once she realizes Gary is hesitant on having her spend time with Leah, she instantly starts going off on Gary and verbally abusing him. Will this abuse turn into physical abuse as it has before?

Then there’s April–Catelynn’s mom–and Butch have a huge, and rather physical, fight after Butch accused April of talking to another man. Holes were made in the walls, name-calling occurred, and there were definitely some bruises. Now Butch is off to jail (once again) and April is left to deal with the mental and physical pain of the situation.

These situations may seem extreme, but you’d be surprised how many people experience abuse in their relationships either verbal or physical:

**1 in 3 teens in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner.

**Only 33% of teens who were in a violent relationship ever told anyone about the abuse.

**1 in 4 teens who have been in a serious relationship say that a partner has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family.

If you or someone you know has been a victim of domestic violence or abuse of any kind, help is available. Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or visit TheHotline.org. Talk to an adult you trust. You are not alone.

 Teen Mom, Episode 7: New Beginnings 

Posted on by

New boys, homecomings, college, and custody issues?! Last night was an interesting one to say the least!

Let’s see what the girls are up to:

Catelynn doesn’t seem to be in a rush to enroll herself in college and Tyler  is afraid she won’t take care of her to-do list before school starts in less than a month. Will she decide to not go to college this year? We know a lot of fans out there want Catelynn to pursue her education dreams, which so many teen moms have to give up. Fewer than 2% of teen moms earn a college degree by the time they are 30.

Amber is finally out of rehab and let’s hope it’s for good. But for now, she definitely has her own to-do list to take care of the second she gets back, and that includes moving in with Gary. Does that seem like a good choice given all the drama that’s gone down between them?

Maci is getting used to sending Bentley off to preschool, but now she has to deal with Ryan getting used to the idea too. Ryan and Maci always seem to have a tough time agreeing on what’s best for Bentley. They are trying to make it work but co-parenting looks super challenging.

And of course, Farrah met Daniel and after some ice cream and horseback riding, it looks like there’s hope in her dating future. Let’s also hope they know the meaning of a healthy relationship and that they are talking about protecting themselves from pregnancy and STDs should they take it to the next level. Now that Farrah told Daniel about Sophia, will he be able to be a part of both their lives?

The girls are all moving on with their lives and trying to make things work with their families, but it’s definitely not easy. Having a baby only complicates existing drama, between family members and couples. If you’re having sex, make a plan with your bf/gf/hook up to protect yourself from pregnancy and STDS. Learn what works and what doesn’t and  get tips on how to take control of your sex life at itsyoursexlife.org.

 Teen Mom: Family Tree Drama 

Posted on by


Whether it’s family drama, preschool, or even rehab, these girls are always dealing with something new and challenging in their lives.

In last night’s episode, Farah’s sister, Ashley, comes to visit her new place in Florida, but Ashley isn’t the only guest; Farah’s mom also decides to pay Florida a visit but the reunion turns ugly (and loud) quickly after Farah and Ashley start blaming their mom for their “lives being ruined.”

There was also Catelyn and Tyler dealing with Butch and his unstable living situation while on parole. With Tyler never knowing about his dad’s whereabouts, looks like he’s playing the Dad role after all, except not to Carly.

With Bentley turning three years old, the sound of school bells will be starting to ring, but is Maci not ready for Bentley to go off to preschool? We know Tyler isn’t up for the idea at all; he’s not pumped to watch Bentley go off to learn his shapes and colors, but for now at least he’s a little distracted with his new girlfriend.

As for Amber, her time in rehab is almost over, but will she be strong enough to make it to the finish line? After her many therapy sessions, it seems like Amber is slowly going back to her old ways.  Will she be able to leave on a clean slate or will Leah have to spend even more time away from her mom?

With all the new relationships and past drama, we’ll definitely be watching next week to see what’s coming next. If you or your friends are going through family issues and/or problems with relationships, it’s important to learn how to trust, respect, and most importantly, communicate. To learn how, visit itsyoursexlife.org to get the real deal on relationships. You can also simplify your own life and future by finding out how to protect yourself from unplanned pregnancy by reading up on what  works and what doesn’t.  You control your future and only you should get to make decisions about your sex life!

 Awkward: Who’s the Third Wheel? 

Posted on by

“My boyfriend’s boyfriend was my secret ex.” Looks like the messy love triangle is far from over on Awkward. Now that Jenna is officially dating Jake, it’s no surprise that Matty isn’t too happy. Tricky part is, Jake still doesn’t know about Jenna and Matty’s secret past. Will he ever find out?

Get More:
Awkward., Full Episodes

In last night’s episode, not only are new relationships forming, but friendships and even marriages are crumbling down. After Jenna’s mom finally confesses to Jenna’s dad about her letter to their daughter, family dinners went from three at the table down to two after her dad decided to take some time away to cope with the news. Then there’s Jenna and Matty’s weird friendship taking a toll now that Matty is stuck in between Jenna and Jake, OR is it Jenna who is stuck in between Jake and Matty? Goes to show there are always new ways relationships can get complicated.

At the end of the episode, we see Matty and Jenna finally come face to face and talk their issues out. She even confronted Matty about trying to sabotage her new relationship. And on the Jake-Jenna sides of the equation, the two are getting more affectionate than ever. Does this mean Jenna will eventually be Jake’s first? If so, let’s hope they are thinking and talking about protection before they get any closer.

Check out some tips below to keep in mind if you or a friend is in a new relationship:

++Communicate: Communication is especially important when you need to talk about big decisions, especially when it comes to whether or not you are ready to have sex. If you aren’t comfortable doing something, it’s important to talk openly with the other person. And if you do decide that you are ready to have sex, talking about protection and getting tested before the clothes come off.

++Trust: Trust means not freaking out if your boyfriend/girlfriend likes to spend time with other friends. It may take time to build trust in a relationship, but invading’s someone privacy or trying to control what they do will make it impossible to have a real and healthy relationship.

++Respect: Respect means valuing the other person’s opinion, treating them well, and not trying to make someone feel bad about themselves. A healthy relationship builds you up, it doesn’t tear you down. It’s your sex life and you should feel empowered in your relationship to make your own decisions!

Jake and Jenna seem to be good at the communication part, and they definitely seem to respect each other, but if Jake finds out about Matty will he still be able to trust Jenna??

 

 

 

 Q&A: Dan Savage Talks Hook Ups and Double Standards 

Posted on by

Famous sex-columnist Dan Savage answers students’ questions on the new MTV series Savage U. What did he learn from the experience? It’s Your Sex Life got answers:

++You’re a world-renowned sex, dating and relationship expert, so you’ve pretty much heard it all.  While traveling to all these college campuses, was there a particularly surprising or unexpected question?

It wasn’t new, I’ve heard it before, but I’m still surprised by how many people — male and female, but more often male — insist they would never date someone they hooked up with. Because, you know, people who hook up… they’re just not relationship material, you know? It never seems to register with the person making this observation — this value judgment — that they themselves are not “relationship material.” By their own definition they’re not! Because they hooked up too.

They know they’re not sleazes, even if they did something sleazy, but they assume that the person they got sleazy with must be a sleaze. Not someone who did something sleazy, but a sleaze. The double standard and magical/tragical thinking here is equal parts sad and hilarious.

++ Why did you want to do this show? Why is talking with young people about sex and all the issues that go along with sex like using protection and getting tested for STDs so important to you?

I wanted to bring the kind of conversation I have with my readers and listeners to television. Sex is fun, it’s a wonderful thing, but there are risks. Control those risks as best you can and then get out there and enjoy yourself while being considerate of the feelings and rights of others. That “do unto others” stuff, you know?

Often what you see on TV about sex—people going for it, having sex without any thought being given to the risk—is in conflict with what you hear about sex on TV. What you hear is, basically, “Don’t have sex unless it’s 100% safe! Responsible people only have risk-free sex!” There is no such thing as risk-free sex, of course. And that message about risk—it’s never okay to take a risk—is undermined by all the risk taking we see people, real and fictional, engage in on television.

A show that acknowledges the risks, talks about them, informs people about them, and then empowers them to make their own choices—their own informed choices, which can include the choice to take a risk—is something new.

Watch Savage U Tuesdays at 11/10c and check back for more from Dan Savage on It’s Your Sex Life.

 16 & Pregnant Season 4: Katie 

Posted on by

16 & Pregnant is back this spring, featuring new moms as they letting us in their complicated lives of trying to balance a pregnancy with the everyday challenges of being a teenager.  From feeling alone, to relying on her boyfriend’s parents for support, to trying to find a prom dress that Katie deals with the physical, emotional, financial and social changes that come along with a pregnancy.  But perhaps the biggest change comes after their daughter, Mollie is born.   Even though Katie can depend on her boyfriend Joey, who has been working to support them and also spending time with their baby, Katie finds herself acting more like astay-at-home mom rather than the ambitious student she always was.  Instead of focusing on college life, like picking new classes and making friends in the dorm, Katie is spending her time taking care of Mollie, cooking and cleaning.  And that’s a lot to do—as we saw with the burnt eggs situation—to take on the responsibilities of caring for herself AND a child, and all while sacrificing her dream of going to college.   Do you have college plans?  Career goals?  Determined to make it through high school?  All of these are so achievable—and even more so if you have a plan to protect yourself.  Find out about What Works and What Doesn’t here.

Check out Katie talking more about what she’s had to give up and the changes in her life in this interview:

 16 & Pregnant: Mackenzie 

Posted on by

From cartwheels to changing diapers.  WOAH.  That’s the life of Mackenzie, profiled in the season premiere of 16 and Pregnant.  As a competitive cheerleader, Mackenzie was used to a challenge.  But being pregnant AND having to find out that her boyfriend had a serious neck injury from a car accident, trying to find a job, and trying to keep up with school was an extreme challenge.  Even though she and her boyfriend, Josh disagree about whether Josh should go back to rodeo riding, she does have his support when it comes to taking care of their baby boy, Gannon, while she’s at school.  When Mackenzie opens up to her mom about being pregnant, she tells her she wasn’t on birth control because she didn’t want to get fat.  Let’s set the record straight here: there are many methods to prevent pregnancy, and if you’re having sex, it’s your responsibility to find a method that works best for you.  It’s  YOUR sex  life, so start taking control by checking out What Works and What Doesn’t here.

Watch the full episode of the 16 and Pregnant premiere with Mackenzie here.

 16 & Pregnant Season 3: Where are they now? 

Posted on by

The girls from 16 & Pregnant Season 3 have experienced a lot of ups and downs since the cameras stopped rolling last year. On last night’s “Where are they now?” special we got to catch up their lives and saw just how challenging raising a baby at a young age can be.

Three of the teen moms’ stories stood out in particular:

-Kianna is now raising her son alone because her boyfriend Zak was sentenced to 15 years in jail for burglary. She is determined to wait for him to be released so they can be a family, but recognizes that her son will basically have to grow up without a father figure.

Kianna is attending community college and thinking about being a counselor, but she is sad she had to give up her big dreams and her plans to go to a four year university to raise her baby. Money is also a huge struggle: she tells Zak’s mom they are always running out of basics they need, like diapers.

- Jordan, who has a twin sister, has made a lot of life changes. She married her son’s father, and moved to California with him when he joined the military. But she got pregnant a second time because she wasn’t using protection or birth control and now has two babies she has to care for. It’s clear the stress of handling the kids, alone, while her husband is at training, is taking its toll on her. When she Skype’s with her sister we hear that Jordan hopes someday to go back to school, but can’t make any plans for that now.

-Izabella is still in high school and dreaming of going to college and becoming a doctor. She and Jairo are still working out the balance of their relationship, but he does seem committed to trying to help her reach her goals.

All the 16 & Pregnant girls expressed a strong need for time on their own, time to feel like teens and said they think that opportunity is gone for them now. But you still have that chance, and you CAN take control of your own health and future. Did you know that 3 in 10 teen girls in the US will get pregnant at least once before age 20? Get in the know and learn what works and what doesn’t when it comes to preventing pregnancy.

If you are having sex, make a plan for protecting yourself against unintended pregnancy and STDs. Remember that condoms protect you against both pregnancy AND STDs. They are the only method that does both.

 Teen Mom 2: Season Finale 

Posted on by

The Teen Moms were not feeling the Valentine’s Day love on last night’s finale.

This season was brutal on the girls’ relationships, in fact all of them broke up with their significant others by the end of the last episode. So where do they stand after all the drama? These quotes from last night’s show sum it up:

“How long is it going to take before I can see him and not get sad?” – Chelsea, talking about her on-and-off ex Adam. We hope it’s really, really soon Chelsea. You deserve to be treated well!

“This is a marriage that’s led to a divorce” -Leah, trying to process that her marriage to the father of her two girls is truly over. Watching Corey take off his ring was heart breaking.

“Why do I put myself in these positions” - Kailyn, taking the words right out of our mouths. She’s working and going to school, doing a lot of things right. But she and Joe continue to complicate their co-parenting relationship and each other’s lives.

“Why don’t you let me focus on myself while I’m here?” – Jenelle, talking to ex-boyfriend Kiefer from rehab. We are with you Jenelle, it’s time for you to deal with your stress and addiction issues without all the distractions!

On the MTV after show, teen moms in the audience weighed in on the season and most of them were very sympathetic about all the emotional baggage that comes with parenthood.

“Seeing the four of you put your kids first despite how hard it is for you, it’s something really important to remember,” one mother said. “You did what you thought is right.”

We wish all the Teen Moms out there health and happiness, and thanks to everyone for watching this season. Remember that you CAN take control of your own health and future. Did you know that 3 in 10 teen girls in the US will get pregnant at least once before age 20? Get in the know and learn what works and what doesn’t when it comes to preventing pregnancy.

If you are having sex, make a plan for protecting yourself against unintended pregnancy and STDs. Remember that condoms protect you against both pregnancy AND STDs. They are the only method that does both.

 Teen Mom 2: Episode 11, Falling 

Posted on by

Jenelle, Jenelle, Jenelle. Of all the Teen Moms she has had the most emotional and chaotic season. And just like her mother says on pretty much every episode, we really worry for her health and happiness.

Last night she finally started to recognize some of her addiction problems and her stress issues and it was a huge relief to see her start to take control. She cut off her relationship with Keifer, acknowledging he was putting her at more legal risk and jeopardizing her future with her son. She also agreed to go to rehab for addiction and stress, a HUGE step for her and her family.

That can’t have been an easy decision, but on the after show Jenelle admitted
that getting probation made her “stop and realize” what was happening in her life and gave her more perspective. She also said she’s learned a lot from her decision to go into counseling and rehab– she even pledged to talk about it openly with her son someday when he is older.

“It’s OK if you go get help, no matter how perfect your life is, it’s OK to have a therapist,” she said.  “You shouldn’t bottle it all up.”

Jenelle has a long road ahead of her, but she seems committed to working things out for the benefit of Jace.

Take control of your own health and future. Did you know that 3 in 10 teen girls in the US will get pregnant at least once before age 20? It doesn’t have to be this way. Get in the know and learn what works and what doesn’t when it comes to preventing pregnancy.

If you are having sex, make a plan for protecting yourself against unintended pregnancy and STDs. Remember that condoms protect you against both pregnancy AND STDs. They are the only method that does both. And if you’re struggling with stress or depression, seek help and visit the Half of Us campaign.