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 Eve Ensler on Love, Relationships + Ending Violence Against Women 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

If you’re a fan of girl power and positivity, chances are Eve Ensler’s work is on your digital bookshelf. The feminist powerhouse is responsible for getting the likes of Jennifer Lawrence and Anne Hathaway to rise up and protest violence against women for 1 Billion Rising, and for theater kids around the world to belt out The Vagina Monologues.

We had a chance to chat with Eve Ensler as part of MTV’s Pioneer Series. Eve stopped by to talk about her new book, In the Body of the World, an intimate memoir about her life and her recently won battle with uterine cancer.

The book is the most personal work she’s ever written, and details her journey to reclaim and get back in touch with her body. She reflected on her time spent in the Congo, how inspired she was by the women there (who have survived years of civil war and violence) and her own story of survival while undergoing cancer treatment. After kicking cancer’s butt, she re-emerged with a new appreciation for life and a wisdom for how the earth and body are connected. She urged people to appreciate the love in their lives beyond their significant others. Friends and family can give you the “big love” that sweeps you off your feet.

When asked what her one wish for the world is, not surprisingly she said to end violence against women. Having visited almost 70 countries, Eve said that the sad thing everyone had in common was the oppression of women. Eve wants women around the world to be empowered to walk, talk and wear whatever they choose, and not be harassed. She stressed that this is NOT a just women’s issue though. It’s up to men to rise up and come forward in support of the women in their lives. Men have as much, or more, of a role to play in ending violence against women.

Of course, at the heart of all of this is building healthy relationships — with yourself and others. To Eve, sex education should go beyond putting the condom on a banana and delve into how we want to be touched and treated.  We need to make sure men and women clearly understand what rape is, and know that no ALWAYS means no.   And beyond that, we should talk more about the positives of sex — creating a better understanding of the meaning of consensual sex, what feels good and the importance of making sure that both people are having a positive experience.

Be sure to check out Eve’s new book, In the Body of the World. For more info on sexual health head over to IYSL.

 Students Call Out Colleges on Title IX Rights + Rally Support Online 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Thomas Patterson for The New York Times)

Photo: (Thomas Patterson for The New York Times)

Title IX of the Education Amendments prohibited sex-based discrimination in schools, but it also guarantees students “essential and extensive rights to freedom from sexual violence necessary for equal access to education.” Do you know your IX rights?

Know Your IX is a new campaign spearheaded by a group of sexual assault activists located all over the country. You might not know their names, but you’ve probably heard their stories. Alexandra Brodsky helped bring a Title IX complaint against Yale, while Dana Bolger helped found It Happens Here, a blog recounting sexual assaults on Amherst’s campus. Their experiences might be different, but one thing Brodsky, Bolger, Annie Clark, Courtney Kiehl, Kate Orazem, Andrea Pino, Ali Safran and Lauren Buxbaum have in common, is that they’re determined to educate students about their Title IX rights. They formed an underground network of sorts, sharing their stories with each other, and now want to make sure all students across the country know what rights are afforded them.

They recently launched their campaign on crowd funding platform Indiegogo, in hopes of raising $10,000 by May 27th. The campaign came about because, as the site notes, “many colleges today are failing to fulfill their legal and ethical obligations.” They’re hoping to educate every college student in the country about his or her rights under Title IX before the start of the fall 2013 term. They believe that, “armed with information, survivors will be able to advocate for themselves during their schools’ grievance proceedings, and, if Title IX guarantees are not respected, to file a complaint against their colleges with the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights.”

You can donate any amount big or small to the campaign, although some amounts come with “perks” like a magnet or bumper sticker. Even if you can’t afford to donate right now, you can still spread the word to make sure students are aware of their rights under Title IX.

The end of April marks the end of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, but we will continue to shine a light on the efforts of those who are speaking out on behalf of survivors. For more information on how you can help sexual assault survivors, take action below.

If you or someone you know need someone to talk to, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is free, confidential and available 24/7 at 1.800.656.HOPE. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to someone over the phone, you can log on to the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline.

 [VIDEO] Awkward.’s Sadie + Tamara Dish On Relationships 

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Reported by MTV Act.

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Oh man. Some serious drama goes down when Jenna’s dad finds her birth control in the guest bathroom. Totally understandable that her dad is feeling protective, and is worried that Jenna and Matty haven’t really talked through things enough. Being super secure with your relationship means being able to talk about anything — including having a protection plan.

This week, “Awkward.” stars Molly Tarlov and Jillian Rose Reed weigh in on healthy relationships and protection as part of IYSL and Awkward.’s collaboration. Check out what they had to say!

+ Why is making a protection plan so key?

The real deal is that many teens are faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Three in ten teen girls in the US will get pregnant at least once before age 20. Every single time you have sex there is a chance of pregnancy. It doesn’t matter what position, environment, or time of the month it is — pregnancy can happen. If you do decide to have sex, making a plan to protect yourself from STD’s and pregnancy before you’re in the situation is the way to go. Luckily, there are a TON of protection options to choose from. There’s the pill, the patch, and condoms — just to name a few. The great thing about condoms is that they’re the ONLY method that prevent BOTH pregnancy AND STD’s. All of this is def a team effort — you and your partner should both be on the same page and take care of each other and your health. Jillian agrees, “We want to take all the steps necessary…we need to be confident in our relationship with our boyfriends or girlfriends.”

+ Watch “Awkward.” Discuss A Protection Plan.

 + What if I Want to Wait 

Seriously, no biggie. This is a huge decision, and is YOURS to make — “When am I ready?” is a question that only you can answer.  It doesn’t have to be the school’s or even your friends’ business. It’s between you and your partner, and if they have a problem with it? Might be time to ditch them. Jillian’s character, Tamara, doesn’t let peer pressure get to her. She knows exactly what she wants, and is totally down to wait for the right time and the right person to have sex. “The truth of the matter is that only about half of teenagers in high school are having sex.” Jillian reveals.

+Watch  “Awkward.” Talk About Why It’s OK To Wait.

+ What Can Fans Learn from Tamara’s experiences? 

Ugh, who can forget Tamara’s awful ex? Ricky cheated, lied, and Tamara kept taking him back, leaving many “Awkward.” fans yelling at their TV. Jillian urges her fans to not let anyone walk all over them. “I would definitely tell my fans to be stronger than that and not to go back to a guy that keeps breaking your heart,” Jillian says.

+ Watch Jillian discuss what you can learn from Tamara’s experiences.

Don’t miss tonight’s episode of “Awkward.” at 10/9c, and be sure to check out more exclusive clips and relationship tips on IYSL.

 [Video] Awkward.’s Jillian Rose Reed + Molly Tarlov on Why Waiting is OK 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

“Sure babe.” Eeeeek the words NO GIRL ever wants to hear. After Jenna’s pregnancy scare last week and subsequent drama with Matty, we are on the edge of our seats to see how everything gets (hopefully) resolved tonight!

All the dramz could have definitely been avoided if Jenna and Matty had been more careful about using protection.  If Jenna had shared where she was at and what she was thinking and feeling with her cutie bf, he would have been able to provide some much needed support. Talking about the “what ifs” can be…well…awkward, but it doesn’t have to be. And if you’re really feeling that tongue-tied and anxious around your significant other, maybe all the other stuff needs to be put on pause. There’s nothing wrong with waiting. Taking control of your sex life (at any time) is your decision to make — and needs to be respected. Just ask Molly Tarlov and Jillian Reed from “Awkward.” IYSL and “Awkward.” have teamed up for April’s National STD Awareness month, and we’ll be posting interviews each week.

This week, Molly and Jillian reveal why waiting is ok. We asked them if their characters, Sadie and Tamara, would have the confidence to say they wanted to wait. It’s no surprise that opinionated Sadie would lay down the rules and not care what anyone else thought.  “My character wouldn’t have any qualms about telling someone that she wanted to wait because she does have that certain pocket of confidence that would stand up for herself in that kind of way.” Molly says. Tamara, our favorite romantic, would of course hold off until everything was perfect. “I think Tamara has it set in her mind about wanting the moment to be special and right for her…she doesn’t feel pressure to have sex…” Jillian reveals.

+ Watch Awkward. on Waiting

We also asked the Awkward. ladies if they had any advice for teens who want to wait to have sex. They said first off —  it’s easy to feel pressure to go faster and do more than you’re comfortable with.  But don’t believe the hype. Not everyone is having sex! Less than half of teens in high school have had sex. It’s always important to be honest with yourself (as well as your partner) and to trust your instincts. If you’re not feelin’ it, you’re not feelin’ it. Period. Your partner should listen to you and respect your decisions. Jillian agrees, ““If your significant other isn’t ok with waiting and doesn’t make you feel comfortable then maybe that’s not the right person to be with.”

+ Watch Awkward.’s Advice for You

Bottom line — you’re worth waiting for. And only you know when you are ready.. And if you do decide you are ready to have sex, make a plan to protect yourself from STDs and pregnancy BEFORE you’re in the situation.

For more tips about how to get the convo started check out IYSL. And don’t miss our interviews with Awkward.’s Molly Tarlov and Jillian Reed each week!

 [Interview] Sexual Assault Isn’t Funny, So Why Are So Many Joking About It? 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Getty)

Photo: (Getty)

It might seem obvious, but sexual assault is no laughing matter — so why are so many people taking it so lightly? Earlier this month, Rick Ross learned the hard way that rapping about rape or sexual assault is unacceptable, to say the least. The MC apologized on Twitter, saying that he doesn’t “condone rape.”

We’ve all been in those situations where someone uses the term rape to refer to something other than the crime itself. Because this month is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we wanted to get to the heart of the issue and find out why it’s never appropriate to take sexual assault lightly. We hopped on the phone with RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) spokesperson Katherine Hull to talk to her about what to do when someone jokes about sexual assault in front of you and why it’s not joke material.

MTV ACT: It seems like an obvious thing, not to joke about sexual assault, but Rick Ross isn’t the only celebrity who has made that mistake. Why is that?  

KATHERINE HULL: Over the past couple of years we’ve seen a number of different celebrities using terms or descriptions about rape or sexual assault to refer to something other than just the crime. And it’s really damaging to survivors who have actually gone through this. I know some celebrities, for example, have compared their experiences with paparazzi to the actual act of sexual violence. Those terms should only be used to describe those crimes of sexual violence. There’s sexual abuse, incest, rape, and sexual assault. These are very serious crimes; the FBI ranks rape as the second most violent crime following only murder, so it’s not something to be taken lightly.

I don’t feel comfortable speculating why these people use these terms. Americans’ viewpoints of these crimes have changed over the past couple of years. Even if we look at hyper-violent news stories over the couple of years (Steubenville, Akin’s comments, the suicides in Canada and LA recently), it’s important for teens and young people to know that this is not something to be joked about.

MTV ACT: Some people will say that a joke is a joke. Why is it important that people not joke about rape or sexual assault?

HULL: The problem with joking about sexual violence and rape is that it’s just not funny. It’s a very serious crime; joking about it can not only be damaging to those who have impacted by sexual assault, but also by those who love them. This is not a rare crime. Just to give some perspective, this is a crime that affects another American every two minutes. Nearly half of these survivors are under the age of 18. So chances are extremely likely that the person you’re talking to has either been personally affected or someone that they know has been impacted.

The second reason why it’s not important to joke about this is that this is an issue in which we can to create an environment in which this is taken seriously and in which survivors do feel comfortable coming forward and disclosing their experience to loved ones and reporting it to the police. And by joking about it, it kind of sets the tone that this won’t be taken seriously. We know that the first person a survivor discloses to can impact his/her decision to go forward and report the crime to the police. So if they feel as though someone is not supportive or doesn’t understand it, it can prohibit them from going forward and getting the help that they need.  It has real-life consequences for people who have been impacted by this crime.

MTV ACT: If you hear a friend joke about sexual assault, how do you address it? 

HULL: I came up with just a couple of them:

+ Leading by example. Don’t joke about rape or sexual assault or use those terms to talk about anything other than the actual crime.

+ Stand up for what is right. If you do hear a friend making a joke or talking about this in a way that makes you uncomfortable, say something and make your voice heard. Let that person know that it makes you feel uncomfortable and it’s not something that you agree with.

+ Help make it uncool. You’re just making it a social norm that we just don’t use terms like that. Sometimes we hear people use a phrase like, “Dude, we’re just not saying that anymore.” We’ve seen that approach used in other derogatory words that people use in our culture.

+ Bring it home. Another thing that could work depending on the relationship with the person is bringing the issue home for the person. Sadly, most people know somebody who was affected by this crime, whether they know it or not, statistically speaking. You know referencing individuals they know who have been sexually assaulted or by saying something that’s been in the news, like what came out of Steubenville. Just saying, this really isn’t funny; this is happening to people on our campus or happening to our friends and it’s all over the news. It’s not a laughing matter.

MTV ACT: For our readers who don’t know about sexual assault and how prevalent it is, where can they turn for information?

HULL: RAINN.org is probably the number one source for information and resources and statistics on this issue. More than just the survivors come to us: loved ones, information seekers, students writing their college papers, policy makers, the media…we see a really diverse audience coming to RAINN. We can help them understand the crime, learn more about it and really reflect the crime more accurately.

If you or someone you know need someone to talk to, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7 at 1.800.656.HOPE. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to someone over the phone, you can log on to the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline.

 STD University: What To Do When You Find Out You Have An STD 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

Finding out you have an STD isn’t easy, but you’re not alone. 1 in 2 sexually active young people will get an STD by the time they’re 25. If you’ve been tested and know you have an STD, you’re already ahead of the game by being aware of it.

Most people don’t know; which is why it’s so important to get tested regularly. The good news is that many STDs are curable, and all of them are treatable. We want you to get the most out of life — and keeping yourself healthy is a crucial part of that. So without further ado, here is your STD study guide!

What to do when you find out you have an STD

+ Go to the Doctor

This def isn’t the time to pull the covers over your head and hide. If you don’t seek treatment, you’re risking your own health as well as the health of your partner(s). Not all STDs can be cured, but they can all be treated; there are even meds that can help people with HIV live long, healthy lives. Getting more info will totally put your mind at ease and help you figure out your next steps. Your doctor is there to help you; he/she has heard it all before so it doesn’t have to be intimidating. We’ve also broken down what to expect during your visit.

+ Tell Your Partner

Breaking bad news, especially to someone you care about, is tough. No doubt. But it’s important that you take charge of the situation. Your partner will probably have a ton of questions, like you did when you first found out. Having all the facts will put their mind at ease and boost your confidence when talking to them. Encourage them to get themselves tested and use a condom every time. Check out GYTnow.org to study up and always be sure to talk to your healthcare provider.

+ Wrap it Up

Condoms are the only way to effectively prevent pregnancy and STDs. It’s crucial that you protect yourself (and others) by using condoms each and every time, from start to finish (no excuses!). There are some cray condom myths and misconceptions out there though, so be on your game and read up on the dos and don’ts. Got an old condom that’s been hanging out in your wallet forever? Toss it. There are plenty of places to buy new condoms (or snag some free ones).

+ Prevent

OK, so this time around you weren’t able to prevent contracting an STD, but there doesn’t have to be a “next time.” Make a habit of getting yourself tested and make practicing safe sex part of your lifestyle. There are a ton of resources and support available, check out more here.

 [Guest Post] We All Have A Part To Play in Ending the HIV/AIDS Epidemic 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

By Stephanie Brown

As young people, we all have a part to play in ending this tragic epidemic called HIV/AIDS. For those of you who have been tested and are negative, your job is to stay negative. To those living with the virus: your job is to keep fighting, and protect your health. And let us all gain as much knowledge and understanding of this chronic illness and those living with it as we can.

As a 26-year-old HIV positive person and activist, I have seen the good and the bad sides of this virus. Through it all, I have become the person I am now — well educated, well aware, active and a leader. In 2013, there is still a stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS, but when people show fear towards me, I always show love back. The more people shoo me off or ignore my invitation to hear my story to learn something, the more it revs up my energy and passion to prove my worth — to say that I am still human. But I understand why people are afraid; there is a lack of education about HIV in this society.

When I share my story with younger crowds, they want more knowledge about sex. They want more information about HIV and other STDs. There is so much curiosity. Our youth need information that is at their level — words that they can understand and distribute to others to pass on the right knowledge. For example, some people choose not to teach kids about condoms because they think it will make them want to have sex…but promoting condoms is not promoting sex. It is promoting self respect and responsibility.

Sex is happening whether parents want to accept it or not, and the talks need to start at home. Outside of home, the media and activists like myself need to step up. When it comes to HIV, education is key. Raising awareness about HIV is not only an eye opener for others, it’s an eye opener for me. When I share my story with someone, it’s delicate therapy. I learn more about myself and others, combining my experience and theirs to gain more knowledge.

To youth, I say that the stigma can stop with you! Your parents should educate you, but it is also time that you start educating them and feeling empowered about your future. I speak a lot about education, but my true message is self respect. We have to learn to respect ourselves and be more mature when it comes to making life-changing decisions like having sex with someone else. If you educate and respect yourself, there’s no stopping you!

Find out what you can do in your own life to protect yourself and to help end AIDS at GYT.

Stephanie is an HIV activist who shared her struggles and triumphs as a young American living with HIV on the MTV show “I’m Positive.” She is also an ambassador for EMPOWERED, a Greater Than AIDS campaign launched with Alicia Keys.

 Since She Went There, 3 Other Things Amanda Bynes Could Do To Her Vagina 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photos: (Getty)

Photos: (Getty)

When I wanna get a guy’s attention, I stare at him from across the room, give him a casual smile, and then maybe work up the guts to say “hello.” When Amanda Bynes wants a guy’s attention, she asks him to “murder” her vagina. Um. Ok.

Amanda proved she’s a far cry from her Nickelodeon days late last night, when she sent rapper Drake the most indecent Twitter proposal tweeting: “I want @drake to murder my vagina.” Here are three other things Amanda could consider doing to her vagina, inspired by MTV’s Its Your (Sex) Life.

+ Test It

1 in 5 people living with HIV in the U.S. don’t know they have it. Get tested regularly to know your status and prevent the spread of all STDs.

+ Protect It

Condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy, and the only method that can also protect against STDs.

+ Save It

Abstinence isn’t for everyone, but did you know that almost 2 out of 3 teenagers who have had sex wish they’d waited? You should never have sex to feel cool, to feel loved, or because you feel pressured by your peers or partners. And if you think “everyone’s doing it,” think again! Only half of all high school students have had sex before.

Protect your privates by taking action below.

 The Hook Up: Herpes Help + Fighting the FWB Urge 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Everyone Is Gay)

The Hook Up is a weekly relationship advice column from MTV Act and the It’s Your (Sex) Life campaign, written by the very talented Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid.

 

From the awkward to the complicated to the down-right-adorable, these girls have you covered. To submit your question about love, lust or anything in between, email us at mtvhookup@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from you, and your question could be chosen for a future column! Plus, the first 30 people get free MTV Act shirts. FYI, in case you’re a little shy, all questions can be anonymous.

A friend just found out she has herpes. What can I do to help her?

-Question submitted by Reg

Dannielle Says:

I think listening to her concerns and fears is a great place to start. Chances are there isn’t anything specific you can do, but you CAN be a good friend (and sometimes that’s enough).

I imagine your friend is feeling a whirlwind of emotions right now, ALL OF WHICH she probably just wants you to hear. When she tells you she is scared, she feels embarrassed and stupid, let her know she has every right to be feeling those things.. Let her know that it’s totally normal to feel surprised, upset or scared when you learn you have an STD. Remind her that she is not stupid, having an STD does NOT make her any less of a person,and you will do whatever it takes to make her feel at least a little better.

Be sure to tell that she isn’t alone.  STDs are REALLY common. Although not a lot of people talk about them, they are the nation’s  most common type of infection. Crazy right? MILLIONS of people have to deal with them in year. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) 50 million people have herpes – that is one in six people.!

If I were in your shoes, I’d want to lighten the mood a little. So… you could always make a list of her favorite celebrities and be like ‘point to one’ and when she does just scream ‘HERPES.’

This is a big deal, it is something she’ll have to be conscious of forever and it is a thing she’ll have to talk about in future relationships which can be really hard. HOWEVER, it is also very common, while there is no cure there is medication you can get to help with the symptoms, reduce the outbreaks and reduce the risk of spreading it, and it DOES NOT have to dictate or define who she is or the rest of her life.

Kristin Says:

The thing with herpes is that it has this HUGE stigma attached to it… but in reality, like Dannielle said, it is a very VERY common thing and it is completely manageable. The reasons that your friend might be bummed out is because a) it’s confusing and she might not completely understand what it even means to have herpes, b) she is aware of that stigma and keeps imaging herself having to tell people that she has herpes, and/or c) she feels like she made a dumb decision and she feels like a fool.

So, I think your path of being a friend can just help lift her up in those areas AND I agree with Dannielle AGAIN, I think you can make it a conversation that also includes some lightness. You can honestly be like, “Okay listen, I know this is upsetting you and I am your friend, and that is why I put a call into the mayor to name today FRHERPDAY2013.” She’ll be all, “Fruh-what Day?” and then you can be like, “IT STANDS FOR FRIENDS’ HERPES DAY 2013. IT IS WHEN YOU AND I TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT IS BUGGING YOU AND WE FIGURE IT OUT AND THEN YOU FEEL BETTER AND THEN WE GET FRHERP ICE CREAM. GOD WHY DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHING.”

Then, on frherp day, you talk to her about how much she knows. You google things with her and do some research on what it is, what she can do about it, how she can tell her next sex partner, and help alleviate those fears. You talk about the fact that you understand why she feels anxious about having to tell other people, and underline the fact that having herpes is REALLY common , she is not alone – millions of people have it -and that anyone worth their salt will not judge her – especially if she is informed and able to explain it clearly. You tell her over and over again that she isn’t an idiot or a fool or stupid or anything – she’s just a person and this is a thing that happens, is manageable and handle-able and that the mayor told you that, moving forward, any day could be frherp day and you are ALWAYS there to talk to her.

I’m that girl who has the on and off again relationship and right now it’s off … he wants to have sex and I do too but I’m scared he will just leave afterwards …. is it worth being fwb?
- Question asked by Hanna 

Dannielle Says: 

No amount of ‘doing it’ with someone is worth emotional hurts SLASH heart ripping… I hope that makes sense. I know you like him PROBABLY A WHOLE LOT and you enjoy having fun with him A WHOLE LOT, but there comes a point when you have to do what’s best for you.

Right now, you are literally saying to us ‘this already hurts my heart, should i keep doing it?’ AND TO THAT I SAY: no. Do not. It will probably be hard to cut all ties at first, but it will be worth it, you’re putting yourself through a lot right now, and this relationship isn’t fair to you.

It’s one thing to be emotionally ready for a friends with benefit-ship and it’s a totally different thing to NOT be ready but to push yourself into it anyway. It’ll mess with your head, trust me. There is someone else out there for you – that wants what you want!

I VOTE NO.

Kristin Says:

I SECOND THAT VOTE. No. You should not.

You literally just said “he wants to have sex.” So you KNOW what he wants, and you KNOW what you want, and you KNOOWOWWWWOWOWWWWW that those two wants do not align. Sorry for the scream-wail on the third “know,” I was just feeling dramatic.

I am sure the sex is awesome and I am sure you just want to be able to put your heart aside and have fun and hope that maybe this time something will click in his brain and he will want to be with you and all the problems will vanish in a sea of kisses and naked bodies… but that only happens in movies, you guys.

He is who he is. You are who you are. One night of sex for another several weeks of heartache, generally speaking, ain’t worth it. Bite your lip, invite some friends over, and watch a crappy horror movie with a bowl of popcorn instead of giving into that desire. It’ll only hurt your heartbones in the end. The right relationship will come!

Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid are the co-creators of Everyone is Gay, a website and organization promoting kindness between all people, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity. The views expressed in these blog posts are the viewsof the authors alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of MTV, KFF or the It’s Your Sex Life campaign.

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 ‘Teen Mom 2′ Jenelle Evans Confirms Second Pregnancy 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Facebook)

Rumors have been swirling that Jenelle Evans from “Teen Mom 2” and her new husband, Courtland Rogers, 27, are expecting a baby. This might concern people who are already worried about Jenelle — she doesn’t have custody of her son, she’s dealt with a number of legal problems, and her relationship with her mother is strained. In the first interview with Jenelle about the topic, we can confirm that her pregnancy is true, “I missed a few birth control pills, and found out I was pregnant at a doctor’s appointment. I was really surprised.”

“Me and Jenelle are so happy that she’s pregnant,” Courtland said to Star in their most recent issue, adding that Jenelle’s looking forward to “a second chance.” Courtland, like Jenelle, also has a child who is in another person’s custody. Courtland told the magazine that he “really wants” to do a MTV spin-off show with Jenelle and it’s under consideration. We can report that it’s not true and there is no new show in the works for the newlyweds.

“I know a lot of people will say we’re not ready, or judge me from my past. I want to prove to everyone that I can do this,” said Jenelle over the phone. “This wasn’t planned, but it happened so we’re taking it as we go. Courtland and I are happy and excited now. We have our own place, we’re married, and we’re both working. We know having a child can be difficult, but we’re going to do our best.

Jenelle is right. While initially learning of a pregnancy can be a very happy time, the reality of parenthood — especially such young parenthood — isn’t all cute baby clothes and adorable Instagram photos.  It’s not uncommon for teen moms to have a second baby within 24 months of their first — this happens with one out of four teen moms. Not even half of teen moms will graduate from high school, and the amount who will graduate from college by the age of 30 is just over one percent.

The good news is that being a teen parent is 100% preventable. Learn your options and how to protect yourself with It’s Your (Sex) Life. And since its launch in 2009, “Teen Mom,” has drawn millions of viewers with its honest depiction of the lives of teen moms. You can watch the show on Mondays at 10/9c.

 Three Ways to Combat Slut-Shaming 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Getty)

Why is Miley Cyrus being slut-shamed?

I’ve been thinking about that question ever since I saw this Instagram tweeted to Cyrus by E! Online’s Ken Baker comparing Cyrus to Taylor Swift. The image claimed Cyrus is called a bitch or slut every day despite having been with the same guy for more than three years.

You see, it doesn’t matter if Cyrus maintains a committed, monogamous relationship with one actor for a number of years. Because of the way she dresses — so different from the image so carefully cultivated for her from her “Hannah Montana” days – she is perceived as someone who is engaging in “slutty” behavior.

Ladies and gents, this is slut-shaming at its finest.

But the thing that is really bothering me about the Miley Cyrus/Taylor Swift comparison is the fact that I’m left sitting here wondering why I’m supposed to shame Taylor Swift for being with “more than 13 guys for the past three years.”

Photos: (Getty)

Does that mean, because these are two girls engaging in seemingly dissimilar behavior, that I have to choose one to deem a slut? It doesn’t matter that Cyrus and Swift are at the top of their respective games, achieving crazy amounts of success; it only matters how Cyrus dresses and to whom T. Swift lends her scarf (spoiler: it was most likely Jake Gyllenhaal. But who cares?).

Well I’m not having any of it. To degrade someone for their sexuality is just a new name for an old game: bullying.

If you’re as tired of this as I am, take note. Here are three ways you can combat slut-shaming:

+ Participate in a SlutWalk

Lace up your Converses, grab a poster and find the SlutWalk nearest you. Raise your voice to protest slut-shaming and victim-blaming.

+ Support orgs like A Thin Line

Learn tips on how to draw your line between digital abuse and use. It’s not OK, and you don’t have to put up with it.

+ Embrace campaigns like Love is Louder

Practice spreading the love — online and off – and accepting others no matter how they dress or who they date. Find ways to show Love is Louder — like expressing the motto on your hand in a photo.

If you’re being slut-shamed or facing digital abuse and are dealing with stress because of it, find out how you can cope with resources from A Thin Line.

 The Hook Up: Condom Confusion and Battling Body Image 

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Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Everyone Is Gay)

The Hook Up is a weekly relationship advice column from MTV Act and the It’s Your (Sex) Life campaign, written by the very talented Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid.

 

From the awkward to the complicated to the down-right-adorable, these girls have you covered. To submit your question about love, lust or anything in between, email us at mtvhookup@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from you, and your question could be chosen for a future column! FYI, in case you’re a little shy, all questions can be anonymous.

Q: “My boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom, any advice?”

Dannielle Says: 

Don’t have sex with him.

Kristin Says:

Agree. No Condom = No Sex, you guys. Duh.

Here are some ways in which to not have sex with him:

-Say, “well, hopefully you have a really good imagination so that you can pretend we are having a really great sex when you are home alone in your bed tonight… ”

-Loudly pronounce, “NO I AM NOT READY TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN” the next time you are in public together. This will work regardless of your gender.

-Explain that you have some important thoughts regarding his recent decision to not care about his own body or yours, and then play “My Body Is A Wonderland” on maximum volume.

Q: “I have a complicated relationship with my body. I know I should be ok with how it looks and all that, but I just am not. I never have been. I feel self-conscious all the time, I don’t know what to do.”

Dannielle Says: 

I think everyone has a complicated relationship with their body?? Right!? Everyone has too much or too little of too many things. Boobs, butts, thighs, nose cartilage, knuckle hair, etc. We all have things about ourselves we don’t like or only sometimes like. HERE IS WHAT I THINK.

I think you should be okay with the fact that you’re uncomfortable sometimes because the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up for having emotions. It makes everything so much more complicated when we try to force ourselves to feel something we’re not feeling. SO, recognize that you feel those things and then talk about why you feel those things. Is it because you feel unhealthy or because you don’t look like Ashely Benson #prettylittleliar ?! If it’s because you don’t look like [favey celeb] then have a conversation in your head about why you love that person. Chances are, you don’t love that person because of all the ways they are like you. You know? You love them because of all the things about them that are DIFFERENT. The same way you will love the differences about yourself.

SECONDLYMOST. Start to congratulate yourself on things that are great about you. I used to do this (i’m not kidding), I would look in the mirror and say ‘you have great hair’ and ‘your eyes are so pretty!’ and when I started to take care of myself a little more, I’d be like ‘NICE SHOES DANNIELLE’ and ‘Dannielle, your skin is really clearing up, good job on not eatin chzzz!’ IT SOUNDS SILLY BUT IT WORKS. If you focus on the things you love about yourself, you’ll feel a lot more confident and the things that were making you feel self-conscious before, won’t take over!

Kristin Says:

Yoga was my answer.

I know that sounds a little oversimplified and it might not be the answer for everyone, but doing yoga was what made me understand my body as a body and not as an image.

Before I explain my yoga-body-concept further let me also tell you that I have PLENTY of days where I wake up and try on all the clothes in my closet and everything looks awful and my stomach curves push through my shirt and my future-face-jowls look too prominent and my short legs look even shorter than usual and I throw a fit and cry and hate myself. I think it is normal to have days where all of our emotions congregate around our body image and we feel awful. Those days should be balanced, though, with a much larger awareness of our actual self and an appreciation for our actual body and not our body as we perceive it in those moments of weakness.

I found the balance that you are seeking when I began to understand my body as skin and bones that wrapped around myself in a way that was unique to me. Yoga allowed me to feel mentally balanced and helped me to appreciate my skin, my muscles, and myself. Feeling how my breath is connected to my brain is connected to my muscles and organs – it gave me a clearer and fuller picture of what it is to be a human. I know that when people love me, it isn’t because of the way my stomach looks on Tuesday… it is because of who I am, how I carry myself, and how I understand myself.

Find what brings you to your center and do more of that. Focus on the reasons you appreciate other people and apply that to yourself. Be patient on the days and in the moments that you lose your footing and become disgusted with your appearance, but allow yourself the room and the peace to find moments where you really, really like parts of yourself – or, on the best days, where you really, really like your whole self.

Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid are the co-creators of Everyone is Gay, a website and organization promoting kindness between all people, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity. The views expressed in these blog posts are the viewsof the authors alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of MTV, KFF or the It’s Your Sex Life campaign.