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Category Archives: Test

 [Video] Awkward.’s Jillian Rose Reed + Molly Tarlov on Why Waiting is OK 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

Sure babe.” Eeeeek the words NO GIRL ever wants to hear. After Jenna’s pregnancy scare last week and subsequent drama with Matty, we are on the edge of our seats to see how everything gets (hopefully) resolved tonight!

All the dramz could have definitely been avoided if Jenna and Matty had been more careful about using protection.  If Jenna had shared where she was at and what she was thinking and feeling with her cutie bf, he would have been able to provide some much needed support. Talking about the “what ifs” can be…well…awkward, but it doesn’t have to be. And if you’re really feeling that tongue-tied and anxious around your significant other, maybe all the other stuff needs to be put on pause. There’s nothing wrong with waiting. Taking control of your sex life (at any time) is your decision to make — and needs to be respected. Just ask Molly Tarlov and Jillian Reed from “Awkward.” IYSL and “Awkward.” have teamed up for April’s National STD Awareness month, and we’ll be posting interviews each week.

This week, Molly and Jillian reveal why waiting is ok. We asked them if their characters, Sadie and Tamara, would have the confidence to say they wanted to wait. It’s no surprise that opinionated Sadie would lay down the rules and not care what anyone else thought.  “My character wouldn’t have any qualms about telling someone that she wanted to wait because she does have that certain pocket of confidence that would stand up for herself in that kind of way.” Molly says. Tamara, our favorite romantic, would of course hold off until everything was perfect. “I think Tamara has it set in her mind about wanting the moment to be special and right for her…she doesn’t feel pressure to have sex…” Jillian reveals.

+ Watch Awkward. on Waiting

We also asked the Awkward. ladies if they had any advice for teens who want to wait to have sex. They said first off —  it’s easy to feel pressure to go faster and do more than you’re comfortable with.  But don’t believe the hype. Not everyone is having sex! Less than half of teens in high school have had sex. It’s always important to be honest with yourself (as well as your partner) and to trust your instincts. If you’re not feelin’ it, you’re not feelin’ it. Period. Your partner should listen to you and respect your decisions. Jillian agrees, ““If your significant other isn’t ok with waiting and doesn’t make you feel comfortable then maybe that’s not the right person to be with.”

+ Watch Awkward.’s Advice for You

Bottom line — you’re worth waiting for. And only you know when you are ready.. And if you do decide you are ready to have sex, make a plan to protect yourself from STDs and pregnancy BEFORE you’re in the situation.

For more tips about how to get the convo started check out IYSL. And don’t miss our interviews with Awkward.’s Molly Tarlov and Jillian Reed each week!

 [Interview] Sexual Assault Isn’t Funny, So Why Are So Many Joking About It? 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Getty)

Photo: (Getty)

It might seem obvious, but sexual assault is no laughing matter — so why are so many people taking it so lightly? Earlier this month, Rick Ross learned the hard way that rapping about rape or sexual assault is unacceptable, to say the least. The MC apologized on Twitter, saying that he doesn’t “condone rape.”

We’ve all been in those situations where someone uses the term rape to refer to something other than the crime itself. Because this month is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we wanted to get to the heart of the issue and find out why it’s never appropriate to take sexual assault lightly. We hopped on the phone with RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) spokesperson Katherine Hull to talk to her about what to do when someone jokes about sexual assault in front of you and why it’s not joke material.

MTV ACT: It seems like an obvious thing, not to joke about sexual assault, but Rick Ross isn’t the only celebrity who has made that mistake. Why is that?  

KATHERINE HULL: Over the past couple of years we’ve seen a number of different celebrities using terms or descriptions about rape or sexual assault to refer to something other than just the crime. And it’s really damaging to survivors who have actually gone through this. I know some celebrities, for example, have compared their experiences with paparazzi to the actual act of sexual violence. Those terms should only be used to describe those crimes of sexual violence. There’s sexual abuse, incest, rape, and sexual assault. These are very serious crimes; the FBI ranks rape as the second most violent crime following only murder, so it’s not something to be taken lightly.

I don’t feel comfortable speculating why these people use these terms. Americans’ viewpoints of these crimes have changed over the past couple of years. Even if we look at hyper-violent news stories over the couple of years (Steubenville, Akin’s comments, the suicides in Canada and LA recently), it’s important for teens and young people to know that this is not something to be joked about.

MTV ACT: Some people will say that a joke is a joke. Why is it important that people not joke about rape or sexual assault?

HULL: The problem with joking about sexual violence and rape is that it’s just not funny. It’s a very serious crime; joking about it can not only be damaging to those who have impacted by sexual assault, but also by those who love them. This is not a rare crime. Just to give some perspective, this is a crime that affects another American every two minutes. Nearly half of these survivors are under the age of 18. So chances are extremely likely that the person you’re talking to has either been personally affected or someone that they know has been impacted.

The second reason why it’s not important to joke about this is that this is an issue in which we can to create an environment in which this is taken seriously and in which survivors do feel comfortable coming forward and disclosing their experience to loved ones and reporting it to the police. And by joking about it, it kind of sets the tone that this won’t be taken seriously. We know that the first person a survivor discloses to can impact his/her decision to go forward and report the crime to the police. So if they feel as though someone is not supportive or doesn’t understand it, it can prohibit them from going forward and getting the help that they need.  It has real-life consequences for people who have been impacted by this crime.

MTV ACT: If you hear a friend joke about sexual assault, how do you address it? 

HULL: I came up with just a couple of them:

+ Leading by example. Don’t joke about rape or sexual assault or use those terms to talk about anything other than the actual crime.

+ Stand up for what is right. If you do hear a friend making a joke or talking about this in a way that makes you uncomfortable, say something and make your voice heard. Let that person know that it makes you feel uncomfortable and it’s not something that you agree with.

+ Help make it uncool. You’re just making it a social norm that we just don’t use terms like that. Sometimes we hear people use a phrase like, “Dude, we’re just not saying that anymore.” We’ve seen that approach used in other derogatory words that people use in our culture.

+ Bring it home. Another thing that could work depending on the relationship with the person is bringing the issue home for the person. Sadly, most people know somebody who was affected by this crime, whether they know it or not, statistically speaking. You know referencing individuals they know who have been sexually assaulted or by saying something that’s been in the news, like what came out of Steubenville. Just saying, this really isn’t funny; this is happening to people on our campus or happening to our friends and it’s all over the news. It’s not a laughing matter.

MTV ACT: For our readers who don’t know about sexual assault and how prevalent it is, where can they turn for information?

HULL: RAINN.org is probably the number one source for information and resources and statistics on this issue. More than just the survivors come to us: loved ones, information seekers, students writing their college papers, policy makers, the media…we see a really diverse audience coming to RAINN. We can help them understand the crime, learn more about it and really reflect the crime more accurately.

If you or someone you know need someone to talk to, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7 at 1.800.656.HOPE. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to someone over the phone, you can log on to the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline.

 STD University: What To Do When You Find Out You Have An STD 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

Finding out you have an STD isn’t easy, but you’re not alone. 1 in 2 sexually active young people will get an STD by the time they’re 25. If you’ve been tested and know you have an STD, you’re already ahead of the game by being aware of it.

Most people don’t know; which is why it’s so important to get tested regularly. The good news is that many STDs are curable, and all of them are treatable. We want you to get the most out of life — and keeping yourself healthy is a crucial part of that. So without further ado, here is your STD study guide!

What to do when you find out you have an STD

+ Go to the Doctor

This def isn’t the time to pull the covers over your head and hide. If you don’t seek treatment, you’re risking your own health as well as the health of your partner(s). Not all STDs can be cured, but they can all be treated; there are even meds that can help people with HIV live long, healthy lives. Getting more info will totally put your mind at ease and help you figure out your next steps. Your doctor is there to help you; he/she has heard it all before so it doesn’t have to be intimidating. We’ve also broken down what to expect during your visit.

+ Tell Your Partner

Breaking bad news, especially to someone you care about, is tough. No doubt. But it’s important that you take charge of the situation. Your partner will probably have a ton of questions, like you did when you first found out. Having all the facts will put their mind at ease and boost your confidence when talking to them. Encourage them to get themselves tested and use a condom every time. Check out GYTnow.org to study up and always be sure to talk to your healthcare provider.

+ Wrap it Up

Condoms are the only way to effectively prevent pregnancy and STDs. It’s crucial that you protect yourself (and others) by using condoms each and every time, from start to finish (no excuses!). There are some cray condom myths and misconceptions out there though, so be on your game and read up on the dos and don’ts. Got an old condom that’s been hanging out in your wallet forever? Toss it. There are plenty of places to buy new condoms (or snag some free ones).

+ Prevent

OK, so this time around you weren’t able to prevent contracting an STD, but there doesn’t have to be a “next time.” Make a habit of getting yourself tested and make practicing safe sex part of your lifestyle. There are a ton of resources and support available, check out more here.

 [Interview] New ‘Real World’ Roomie Nia Moore Opens Up About Sexual Assault 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

The latest episode of “Real World Portland” got extremely real when new cast member Nia Moore opened up about being sexually assaulted at 18-years-old.

“Two beers and I was out,” explained the college volleyball player with model good looks to her roommate Marlon. Nia woke up mid-act, after what she assumes she was drugged with began to wear off. “It was the most God awful disgusting feeling,” she said. “I just closed my eyes and thought ‘God, just let me wake up from this.’”

Two-thirds of sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. Nia was on a second date. She reported the act soon afterwards — but like 97% of those who commit the assault, her offender didn’t spend a single day in jail. We recently sat down with Nia to discuss her scary experience and everything she learned from it. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month – we applaud and thank Nia for her bravery and willingness to shed some light on the issue.

MTV ACT: First off, thanks for letting us talk to you today. We know stuff like this can be difficult to talk about.

NIA: My pleasure. Sexual assault is hard to talk about, but the only way to make it better for those who’ve experienced it, and to prevent others from experiencing the same is to talk about it.

ACT: In as much detail as you’d like, can you describe what emotions you felt about the assault?

NIA: Shock. Pain. Fear. Betrayal. Denial. Anger…and then power, because I realized I could use my negative experiences to make a positive difference in other people’s lives.

ACT: How did you cope with being sexually assaulted, and what advice do you have for those with similar experiences?

NIA: Don’t ever want to pretend it didn’t happen, because it’s going to come back to haunt you. You’re going to dream about it. It’s going to affect you socially. Deal with the matter right then and there. It’s okay to grieve, and it’s okay to talk about it. Stay around people who you know will listen to you and be there for you. And therapy works! You have to do it.

ACT: In your opinion, do you think that some people — be it peers, celebrities, or the media in general — take the concept of rape too lightly? 

NIA: Definitely. Like that whole Rick Ross lyric fiasco made me want to cry. Apology or no apology, this world has become so conditioned to think that having or rapping about sex with someone who is extremely intoxicated — either by choice or by force — is totally normal.

ACT: Why do you think some people have been conditioned to think this way?

NIA: Part of the reason why is because many people don’t know how to define sexual assault. Some people claim to have been taken advantage of, but weren’t, while many others are actually taken advantage of but don’t report it because they feel ashamed or blame themselves.

Learn what rape is and isn’t. Don’t falsely accuse someone of rape because you’re mad at them or they don’t call you back after sex. On the other hand, you should tell someone if you feel like you have been taken advantage of in any way. People think there’s only one standard of sexual assault. It doesn’t have to hurt. You don’t have to be unconscious. If someone is manipulating you into doing something you don’t want to, it’s assault!

ACT: What did you learn from your experience, and what advice do you have for young people to avoid having similar ones?

NIA: Before, I was drinking very haphazardly. I trusted everyone, partied with strangers, went to their homes, and assumed nothing bad could ever happen to me. Then it did. Don’t let something so extreme be what changes you for the better. Don’t think it can’t happen to you. A rapist doesn’t look a certain way. They don’t look like bad guys from the movies. Even when drinking around people you know, watch your cup and know your limits. And if, God forbid, you do find yourself in a situation similar to mine, tell somebody! Get help, and always remember that you are strong, you are beautiful, and life goes on.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, there is help. If you’re not comfortable speaking to anyone you know, RAINN’s Sexual Assault Hotline offers 24/7 confidential help at 1-800-656-HOPE. Reduce your risk of assault by staying safe, smart, and always aware of your surroundings — online and in person! For more meaningful convos (and some silly ones too), watch “The Real World” on MTV every Wednesday at 10/9c.

 [Interview] Jillian Rose Reed + Molly Tarlov: It’s Never ‘Awkward.’ to GYT 

Reported by MTV Act.

AwkwardInterviewPress-Post

Photo: (MTV)

Life can get pretty “Awkward.” sometimes. Sexual health doesn’t have to be though, and Jillian Rose Reed and Molly Tarlov from Awkward are here to help you through those stutters, side glances, and nervous smiles. GYT and “Awkward.” have teamed up for April’s National STD Awareness Month, and we’ll be rolling out interviews with the “Awkward.” ladies each week!

This week, we asked Molly and Jillian how their characters, Sadie and Tamara, would bring up getting tested for STDs. It’s no surprise that Sadie would take control of the situation and throw all her friends in her car to drive to the clinic.  “She [Sadie] would need to see the paper that said what the results are,” Molly shares. As for Tamara, Jillian knows that if her character didn’t know her status, she would obsess about it in her head, coming up with her own crazy lingo for the diseases, until she did. “She would make up so many new words if she was in her head about this. She would just need to get it done,” Jillian says.

+ Watch How ‘Awkward.’ Would Get Tested

We also wanted to know what was up with the response to Sadie’s STD scare last year. Who could forget the episode when Sadie came to school in a turtleneck hiding a “stress zit” and later stressed that her bf, Ricky, had given her herpes? It was all a ton of drama that could have been avoided by simply talking to Ricky about it and getting tested. No need to hide behind a turtleneck. “It’s super common. 1 out of every 2 people will get an STD by the time they’re what, 25? And they just need to know that they need to get tested,” Tamara reveals.

+ Watch ‘Awkward.’ On Getting Tested

So — stress less, get tested. GYT makes it easy to know your status. Be sure to check back all month for the latest interviews with the “Awkward.” ladies!

 This Week on ‘Real World Portland’: Drunken Hangs + Pizza Shop Bangs 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

Did y’all catch the third episode of “Real World Portland“? Last night’s show was just what the reality T.V. doctor ordered — sex and parties — but here’s a little advice to keep the real doctor out of the picture!

+ Even Spontaneous Sex Should Be Safe Sex

Johnny and Averey can’t keep their hands off each other! Not even at work, where the two get down in the pizzeria bathroom. I love Averey and Johnny together, but I don’t wanna know what their babies will look like just yet…unless their baby has four legs and is named Daisy! All sex — even spontaneous, pizza shop sex — requires preparation. Know yourself, know your partner, and always wear a condom. One in six people in the U.S. has herpes, and we all know “The Real World” is the story of SEVEN strangers, soooooo… (It’s totally Daisy.)

+ Drink Smart, Especially When You’re Angry

Most of the roommates’ arguments are fueled by alcohol. Although one person in the house (rhymes with “Gordon”) tends to be particularly argumentative, it’s hard for anyone to seem right when everyone is drunk. When going out with friends, I follow one rule: drink smart. Know your limits, and drinking when you feel bad to feel good usually spells trouble. Drinking with people you’re mad at rarely ends well…just ask my ex! And if, like Jordan, you often forget what you did last night, you might wanna cool it on the tequila shots.

Watch Real World Portland Ep. 3 full recap

Share your thoughts on “The Real World” in the comments below, and catch a new episode on MTV every Wednesday at 10/9c! Want more from Portland? Head over to MTV Remote Control.

 [Guest Post] We All Have A Part To Play in Ending the HIV/AIDS Epidemic 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

By Stephanie Brown

As young people, we all have a part to play in ending this tragic epidemic called HIV/AIDS. For those of you who have been tested and are negative, your job is to stay negative. To those living with the virus: your job is to keep fighting, and protect your health. And let us all gain as much knowledge and understanding of this chronic illness and those living with it as we can.

As a 26-year-old HIV positive person and activist, I have seen the good and the bad sides of this virus. Through it all, I have become the person I am now — well educated, well aware, active and a leader. In 2013, there is still a stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS, but when people show fear towards me, I always show love back. The more people shoo me off or ignore my invitation to hear my story to learn something, the more it revs up my energy and passion to prove my worth — to say that I am still human. But I understand why people are afraid; there is a lack of education about HIV in this society.

When I share my story with younger crowds, they want more knowledge about sex. They want more information about HIV and other STDs. There is so much curiosity. Our youth need information that is at their level — words that they can understand and distribute to others to pass on the right knowledge. For example, some people choose not to teach kids about condoms because they think it will make them want to have sex…but promoting condoms is not promoting sex. It is promoting self respect and responsibility.

Sex is happening whether parents want to accept it or not, and the talks need to start at home. Outside of home, the media and activists like myself need to step up. When it comes to HIV, education is key. Raising awareness about HIV is not only an eye opener for others, it’s an eye opener for me. When I share my story with someone, it’s delicate therapy. I learn more about myself and others, combining my experience and theirs to gain more knowledge.

To youth, I say that the stigma can stop with you! Your parents should educate you, but it is also time that you start educating them and feeling empowered about your future. I speak a lot about education, but my true message is self respect. We have to learn to respect ourselves and be more mature when it comes to making life-changing decisions like having sex with someone else. If you educate and respect yourself, there’s no stopping you!

Find out what you can do in your own life to protect yourself and to help end AIDS at GYT.

Stephanie is an HIV activist who shared her struggles and triumphs as a young American living with HIV on the MTV show “I’m Positive.” She is also an ambassador for EMPOWERED, a Greater Than AIDS campaign launched with Alicia Keys.

 On ‘Real World Portland,’ Jordan + Jessica Clash on Sex, Smoke And, Well, Everything 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (MTV)

Photo: (MTV)

The Real World” is back for it’s 28th season, and this time, we see seven (or is it eight?) strangers hit Portland, Oregon for a what looks to be the most explosive season of the show in years. But between drunken fights and make-out nights, a lot of important convos are had.

So far, Southerners Jordan and Jessica seem to butt heads the most. They’ve had heated debates over everything from smoking to sexuality. Can they just make out already?!

Football player and ladies’ man Marlon dropped a bomb on roommates when he admit to a past sexual encounter with a guy. Only it wasn’t a bomb at all, ’cause he mentioned it so comfortably and casually — in a way I hope all people can someday talk about their sexuality.

Marlon-Insert

Marlon’s confession sparked a common debate: Does a man’s one-time sexual encounter with another man make him gay? “Marlon is just so masculine and he’s such a guy…but if you act feminine and you sleep with men, yeah, that makes you bi,” says Jordan. Um. Soooomebody needs a trip to West Hollywood, where I experience the daily letdown of hitting on hot, totally masculine men…riiiight before their boyfriends walk up.

Just as we do in conversations about race, it’s important to use the right language and avoid stereotypes when discussing others’ sexual identity. Jordan shares a common but misinformed view that all gay men are effeminate. I don’t know about y’all, but when Marlon confessed, all I could think was, “Shoot! Now I have double the competition!”

JordanJessArgue-Insert

Jordan and Jess also went at it when the house hookah sparked a debate over whether hookahs are as bad for people as cigarettes. Don’t let the flavors fool ya! Although hookah smoke may taste like skittles, it’s just as addictive, and poses just as many health risks as cigarettes. According to the Center For Disease Control, “A typical 1-hour-long hookah smoking session involves inhaling 100–200 times the volume of smoke inhaled from a single cigarette.” WOW. Just call it strawberry cancer!

+ Watch Jordan and Jessica Debate Over Everything

Whose side are you on? Take the poll at MTV Remote Control, and read up on all things “Real World.” For more drama and debates (and hopefully a J&J makeout sesh), catch a new episode of “Real World Portland” on MTV this Wednesday at 10/9c!

 5 Not-So-Steamy Facts Nicki Minaj + Lil Wayne Want You To Know About ‘High School’ 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Cash Money/Young Money)

Photo: (Cash Money/Young Money)

Nicki Minaj’s hot new “High School” video just dropped, and daaamn, look at those b…braids on Lil Wayne! All I’m sayin’ is, can Nicki Minaj even see her toes?! Peep the steamy vid, then — in honor of National STD Awareness Month — let’s talk about some not-so-steamy facts about high school, courtesy of MTV’s It’s Your Sex Life.

Watch Nicki Minaj “High School” featuring Lil Wayne

+ Only 50% of all high school students have had sex

If you think everyone in high school is gettin’ down like Wicky (Weezy + Nicky), think again! Only half of all high school students have had sex, meaning there’s no need to rush if you’re not ready. In fact, rumor has it Wicky didn’t even touch in the making of “High School.” “He refused to touch me, he’s so respectful,” said Nicki of the video shoot. Never thought I’d say this, but where can I find a man like Weezy?!

+ Nearly half of new STD cases are among young people aged 15-24

Every year, there are more than 19 million new STD cases in the U.S.! And do you know that 1 in 6 Americans are infected with Herpes? You’re looking at your AP Calc class in a whole new light now, aren’t ya?!

+ 1 in 5 people living with HIV in the U.S. doesn’t know they are postitive

Many STDs, including HIV, can go without being detected for some time. The only way to know for sure if you have one is to get yourself tested.

+ 3 in 10 teen girls in the U.S. will get pregnant at least once before age 20

Shows like “Teen Mom” illustrate the hardships of raising a child at a young age. How much do you know about preventing pregnancy? Quiz yourself with our “Teen Mom” Mythbusters.

+ A sexually active teen who does not use a contraceptive has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within a year

The only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy is not to have sex. Condoms and birth control can significantly reduce the risk of pregnancy, but only when used correctly. For example, two pairs of socks may keep your feet warm, but two condoms at once can actually increase the risk of tearing and pregnancy! Take action below for more info on testing and sexual health. It’s YOUR sex life! Take charge!

 The Hook Up: Let’s Talk about S-T-Ds 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Everyone Is Gay)

Photo: (Everyone Is Gay)

The Hook Up is a weekly relationship advice column from MTV Act and the It’s Your (Sex) Life campaign, written by the very talented Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid. This April they are fielding questions on STDs for STD Awareness Month. Learn more at gytnow.org

 

Question: So how do you ask someone if they’ve been tested without making them feel like you don’t want them?- Anonymous

Dannielle Says:

Chances are they won’t feel like you don’t want them. Most people are hip to the fact that STDs are really common (apparently they’re called STIs now, but like, i’m old and set in my ways). 1 in 2 sexually active people will have an STD by the age of 25, so we all better get real used to talking about this!

Just make it more casual if you’re worried about how they will respond. Say something like “I was thinking about going to get tested next week, you wanna come?” or if you’re not that close, and it’s a one-night-stand, you can be like ‘i really wanna rip your clothes off furiously, but i also want us both to be healthy, hhaaaave you been tested?!’ and if they’re like ‘WTF WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE’ that probably means they either have an STD and want to hide it from you or they are not capable of having rational adult-like conversations. And if they can’t have adult-like conversations you probably don’t want to be with them anyway. And if they’re like “WTF no I haven’t been tested but I know for a fact I don’t have an STD,” you should probably call a time out  and explain to them that unless they are Harry Potter that is impossible. The ONLY way to know if someone has an STD is to get tested, since STDs often don’t have visible symptoms. And while we are taking a time out and thinking about Harry Potter is a great time to discuss how awesome condoms are, because they are the only method that protect against both STDs and pregnancy. And they come in fun colors.

So just be honest with your luvas and make your luvas be honest with you. Like I always say… Honestly before sexily…

#idontalwayssaythat #butishouldstart

Kristin Says:

This is easy: You just ask them. Asking someone if they have been tested means you do want them, and it also means that you care about yourself and care about being healthy. If I was kissing on a girl and she just up and took all of her clothes off and was like, “Let’s do this shite,” I’d be like, “Did she really just say ‘let’s do this shite’?” while backing stealthily away from her.

The bottom line is that you want to be with someone who cares about their own health as well as yours, so you shouldn’t worry. If you ask and they get all bejiggity about it, explain to them that you have gotten tested and you always ask your partners so that you can both be safe. If they still don’t get it, then just collect your clothes and say “honestly before sexily” on your way out the door.

If they DO get it…yay! Win for humanity! And you can find a place to get tested together here.

Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid are the co-creators of Everyone is Gay, a website and organization promoting kindness between all people, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity. The views expressed in these blog posts are the viewsof the authors alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of MTV, KFF or the It’s Your Sex Life campaign.

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 Since She Went There, 3 Other Things Amanda Bynes Could Do To Her Vagina 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photos: (Getty)

Photos: (Getty)

When I wanna get a guy’s attention, I stare at him from across the room, give him a casual smile, and then maybe work up the guts to say “hello.” When Amanda Bynes wants a guy’s attention, she asks him to “murder” her vagina. Um. Ok.

Amanda proved she’s a far cry from her Nickelodeon days late last night, when she sent rapper Drake the most indecent Twitter proposal tweeting: “I want @drake to murder my vagina.” Here are three other things Amanda could consider doing to her vagina, inspired by MTV’s Its Your (Sex) Life.

+ Test It

1 in 5 people living with HIV in the U.S. don’t know they have it. Get tested regularly to know your status and prevent the spread of all STDs.

+ Protect It

Condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy, and the only method that can also protect against STDs.

+ Save It

Abstinence isn’t for everyone, but did you know that almost 2 out of 3 teenagers who have had sex wish they’d waited? You should never have sex to feel cool, to feel loved, or because you feel pressured by your peers or partners. And if you think “everyone’s doing it,” think again! Only half of all high school students have had sex before.

Protect your privates by taking action below.

 The Hook Up: A Boyfriend’s Bi-curious Past & Painful First Love 

Reported by MTV Act.

Photo: (Everyone Is Gay)

Photo: (Everyone Is Gay)

The Hook Up is a weekly relationship advice column from MTV Act and the It’s Your (Sex) Life campaign, written by the very talented Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid.

 

To submit your question about love, lust or anything in between, email us at mtvhookup@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from you, and your question could be chosen for a future column! Plus, the first 30 people get free MTV Act shirts. FYI, in case you’re a little shy, all questions can be anonymous.

There was a tru life about people who can’t get over their first love and I can’t either. What can we do? –Ari

Dannielle Says: 

I want to start by saying I’m so completely sorry for the pain I know you’re feeling right now. A lot of us have been in a position similar to yours, we’ve had those feelings that we were all certain would never go away.

I want you to start by removing the word “can’t” from your vocabulary. Saying “I can’t get over them” is much more limiting than “I’m not over them, yet.” Simply believing that you will one day be over them is a great place to start. ALSO, I don’t think your focus should be “trying to get over them” but it should be to fall in love with yourself. I’ve read before that in order to get over someone you have to fall in love with something/someone else. Sometimes people will take up new hobbies or whatever, but I think the best way to do it is to fall in love with you.

Rediscover the things about you that you put on hold. Try new things. Play music, listen to music, watch movies you’ve never seen, do amazing things for your friends, help out your community, take a class, reconnect with people from your past, research something you’ve always loved, and write it all down. Share a new experience with YOU every single day and keep record of it. Write down how you feel and why you feel that way, explain exactly why each day is better than the last. Fall in love with you.

Kristin Says:

Yes. This is about you being patient with you, and knowing that hurt is a rollercoaster of feelings. First step? Don’t beat yourself up over hurting… that is a feeling that most everyone on this planet is familiar with, and it is understandable and logical for you to feel pain at losing something that you love.

Anyone has the ability to get over their first love so long as they allow themselves to feel that hurt and, at the same time, remain open to new possibilities. That is key.

Something that I do in situations where I feel as though I will never overcome the hurt or the sad is to think about my past. Reflecting back on times when you have had feelings that have knocked you to your knees (even if not exactly in this way), and then rediscovering how you were able to gain distance and perspective from those experiences over time can be a huge step in believing that you are versatile enough to get that same distance and perspective from this experience.

The people who we first fall in love with shape who we are in a crucial way. They help us learn that we can be loved and who we are when we are connected to someone on such a deep level. They begin to teach us the things that we need from a partner, and the things about ourselves that need the most work. They also teach us, if and when we part ways, about the strength we walk with and the ability we have to learn from beautiful experiences even through the pain of losing them.

Believe in yourself, allow yourself to feel the hurt, and keep your eyes forward. There is so much more out there. There always is.

My boyfriend told me he has hooked up with guys in the past but he is straight and wants to be with me. Should I believe him? -Rachel

Dannielle Says: 

You know, I’ve been in a situation like this before. I was dating a girl who was really upset by the fact that I had hooked up with a couple of guys not too terribly long before we’d started dating.

On the one hand, I totally got her point, it was weird for her because she’s always assumed I was gay and I’d only ever liked girls and ALL OF A SUDDEN I was like ‘LOL I KISS BOYS’ and she felt like she kind of didn’t know me.

On the other hand, it was in my past. I wasn’t making out with boys in that moment and I had no interest. It made me pretty upset, to be honest, because I was with HER. I wanted to be with her and only her. Forget about all the genders of the long list of people I’ve made out with in the past, I was ONLY making out with her and that’s what should have mattered.

That’s what I think you should focus on, your boyfriend being with you. Who cares who he’s dated in the past? Who cares if he used to like some guys? He is with you because he wants to be with you, trust him.

Kristin Says:

I agree one million percent.

I think that there is a HUGE stigma placed on men, especially, where if they have interest in other men it seems impossible to a lot of human beings that they would have any interest in ladies as well. I am not sure exactly where that comes from, but I am a huge believer in the fact that at the end of the day we are all people with feelings and brains and hearts and emotions, and that most of us simply don’t fall in any one “category” when it comes to sexuality.

This is about you trusting your partner. If you feel that you can’t trust him because of factors that you haven’t shared with us, then that needs more reflection on your end. If, however, you do trust him but just think that it might not be possible for a boy to like boys and also girls, then I can help ease your worries: they can, and they do.

I think it is wonderful that he felt close enough to you to trust you with another part of himself, another experience in his life that meant something to him. I say, trust him, thank him for his openness, and remain open to each other’s feelings – you can tell him about some of your confusions and ask questions! Just be open to dialogue and remember that him liking boys doesn’t mean he can’t like girls. That’s just plain silly.

Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid are the co-creators of Everyone is Gay, a website and organization promoting kindness between all people, regardless of sexual orientation and gender identity. The views expressed in these blog posts are the viewsof the authors alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of MTV, KFF or the It’s Your Sex Life campaign.

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