Kristina is 16 and super involved in school activities, including getting straight A’s.  She didn’t plan on getting pregnant so young, but when she told her boyfriend, Todd, he was really supportive. And pregnancy wasn’t the only life challenge confronting Kristina– she faces an extreme tragedy when Todd drowned while they were at the beach together.  After such a devastating experience, Kristina has so much grief that she doesn’t really seem excited, or nervous or even stressed about the baby, since she’s already dealing with so many emotions. Even though it was hard for her to open up at first, she starts leaning on her family and friends for support.  Everyone responds to loss differently, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone– there are people around you, like family, friends, and counselors, or support groups, or even online communities that are there to help you as you take time to grieve.  Make sure that you’re being honest with yourself about your experience and that you’re communicating your feelings with people you trust.   If you’re trying to cope during a time of grief, visit this site for some information to help you as you work through the loss of someone close to you.

Photo: Alex (MTV)

Dan Savage took on some kinky questions at the University of Central Florida on “Savage U” last night, and with nearly 60,000 students on campus there were plenty to go around. But it wasn’t all sex toys and orgasm-talk, a bi-sexual student named Alex moved Dan so much he offered her a hug! And Dan is not a hugger.

+The Deets

Alex has identified as a lesbian for years, and chose to go a college with a big, supportive LGBT community. But recently she has become romantically and sexually interested in guys again and is fearful her gay and lesbian friends will reject her for being bisexual. She has already received some negative responses from friends and is torn up as to why her gay friends can’t be happy for her, regardless of her choice. “We are bullied all the time for who we are and who we want to have sex with,” she said.

+The (Sex)perts weigh in:

Alex is following her gut and her heart and it’s clearly causing her emotional pain. She found strength in the gay community at UCF and now she worries she will have to give that up. But anyone who is a true friend will accept you for who you are, even if you are still in the process of figuring it all out.

“You are not betraying yourself…the lesbian nation, anything by coming out as bi,” said Dan. He encouraged her to embrace her feelings and to understand that there are a lot of gray areas when it comes to sexuality and labels.

“There is a B in LGBT for a reason!” Dan said. He acknowledged that there are some bi-phobic people out there, even in gay and lesbian support groups, and encouraged her to continue to be open.

“The friends in your social circle who are going to react negatively — if they can’t accept you, if they can’t learn and grow — their loss,” he said.

+What You Can Do

If you are going through a difficult time, or feeling confused or judged about your sexuality or gender, talk to someone you trust. You are not alone, there are people out there who love and care about you, including Dan. Check out these great resources below for more:

It Gets Better
Founded by Dan Savage with his partner Terry, the It Gets Better Project provides support for lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual young people and their allies and also connects young people with help through the Trevor Project and the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.

The Trevor Project
1-866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) (available 24 hours a day)
Are you going through a difficult time? Feeling confused, lonely or blue? If you’re a young person looking for someone to listen and understand without judgment or if you’re feeling suicidal about issues related to sexual orientation and gender expression, the Trevor Lifeline is here to help.

Amplify Your Voice
Informational resources for gay, lesbian, bixsexual, transgender and questioning young people. Sponsored by Advocates for Youth.

Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network
The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

For more information about sexual health visit It’s Your Sex Life and enjoy some of our favorite Dan-isms of the night below.

Best blunt advice of the night: “You really need to learn how a vagina works.”

Dan’s best reaction to fans: “I’m very bad at hugs.”

Dan reliving his wild spring break: “I spent a lot of time in my jank-ass hotel room reading.”

Dan destroying the myth that drinking bleach will prevent pregnancy:“That will do nothing except make you very ill.”

Eric is working and going to community college so, even though he’s helping as much as he can, Myranda still can’t get more than 3 hours of sleep a night when Kaylee comes. As she puts it, she’s going “stir crazy” being alone in the house when she misses her friends and being in school.  She even admits she would take all of this back if she could and opens up to say that she thought it would be easier when Kaylee was born. She wishes that she would have waited to have sex so that she could give Kaylee a better life than she can right now. And Myranda isn’t alone. Did you know that almost 2 out of 3 teenagers who have had sex wish they’d waited and that half of all teens in high school have never had sex? Here are ways to talk about waiting to have sex until you’re ready.

And how did this all happen? Well, Myranda decided that she was going to go off the pill for a month because she ran out and didn’t think she would get pregnant. The pill only works when you take it correctly and consistently– that means EVERY DAY. And what about Eric? He tells his friends that he didn’t wear a condom because he was thinking about himself and not about everything else that could happen.  But thinking pregnancy won’t happen to you doesn’t protect you. So, what does work for preventing pregnancy? Find out here!

Dan headed south to Auburn University in Alabama on tonight’s Savage U and it was clear he felt like a fish out of water with all the talk of holding doors, M-R-S degrees and chastity. But one student’s story of striving to live up to his own moral code won Dan over. Watch below at the 17 minute mark:

+The Deets

Luke is in a long-distance relationship but is finding it challenging to balance the college lifestyle and staying committed. He and his girlfriend are not having sex and he plans to stay a virgin until he is married, but there are temptations — in the form of hot girls — are everywhere at Auburn.

+The (SEX)perts Weigh In

It’s cool that Luke and his girlfriend aren’t feeling pressure to have sex before they feel ready. A lot of people choose to wait — whether it’s to find that right person, get married or to not have to worry about pregnancy or STDs.

But when you add alcohol to the mix, people don’t always follow through on those decisions, so Dan warns Luke to stay away from drinking and to have a back-up plan in place just to be safe.

“You have to be conscious of the fact that you are human and you’re fallible,” Dan said. “I would have condoms around even if you have no plans to ever use them… if you should ever slip up you don’t want that to result in a sexually transmitted infection. Or a child!”

It’s true, even with the best of intentions mistakes do happen. If there is a chance you could end up having sex, be honest with yourself and be prepared with protection.

+What You Can Do

Talk to your bf/gf/hook up and make sure you’re on the same page about your limits. You may be thinking one thing and he or she could have a totally different plan. If you decide to have sex, talk about how you’re going to protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs, BEFORE you are in the situation and the clothes are already off!

Learn more about what works and what doesn’t for pregnancy prevention here. Condoms are the only form of birth control that also protects against STDs when used correctly, every time, which makes them an ideal back-up plan to have on the ready, as Dan suggested.

For more information on sexual health visit It’s Your Sex Life and enjoy some of our favorite Dan-isms of the night below.

Dan’s interpretation of lacrosse: “I saw you catching balls with your sack.”

Dan’s analysis of the scene at Auburn: “This seems like enough alcohol to dissolve a purity ring.”

Dan’s happiest moment of the show: “You got condoms! This is the nicest gift.”

Photo: (MTV)

On tonight’s episode of “Savage U,” sex columnist Dan Savage stopped by East Carolina University, where the girls complain they far outnumber the guys on campus, but the guys are loving the statistical advantage. Dan coached students through relationship issues like dealing with a girlfriend’s parents and communicating desires to a BF/GF, but Kira’s story definitely caught our attention, and Dan’s:

+The Deets

Kira has been posting ads on Craigslist, advertising for hook ups and allowing people she meets online to come to her apartment.  She is using condoms and birth control, but she often knows very little about the guys she is involved with. Is this booty hunting safe?

+The (SEX)perts Weigh In

Kara, we say this with love, what you are doing is straight up dangerous. There are so many risks involved with inviting strangers over for sex! The risk of physical harm, emotional harm, not to mention sexually transmitted diseases (which are a risk no matter who you are having sex with, even if you know them well).

“Meeting like that online isn’t safe,” Dan said. “You’ve got to stop passing your address out to men you’ve just exchanged a few emails with.” He encourages her to feel empowered, to meet men in person in the real world and have self confidence in herself.

The (SEX)perts can’t tell you whether you should date people you meet online, but always consider your safety first, with any guy or girl you meet anywhere. And if you’re having sex, protect yourself.  Sexually transmitted diseases are really common — 1 in every 2 sexually active people will have an STD by the age of 25 — and you can’t tell just by looking at someone if they have an STD. So whether you’ve known someone for a few weeks or a few years, you are at risk of contracting an STD each and every time you have unprotected sex.

+What You Can Do

If you’re having sex, use a condom each and every time—it’s the only way to reduce your risk of contracting an STD. It’s that simple, learn more here.

For more information on sexual health visit It’s Your Sex Life and enjoy some of our favorite Dan-isms of the night below:

Best new catch phrase, that will never catch on:
“What’s the opposite of a sausage fest, a clam bake?”

Best attempt at setting the record straight about oral sex:
“You do realize oral sex’s last name is SEX!”

Best advice of the night:
“How do you tell a girl you’re romantically involved with she needs to slim down without sounding like a jerk? You don’t.”

How did it get to this point?  Well, props to Alex and Matt for being on the right track and using condoms.  When used correctly and consistently, each and every time, from start to finish, condoms are the only method that protect against both unintended pregnancy and STDs.  But the key is correct and consistent use every time.  When a condom broke one night, Alex and Matt again were on the right track, since went to buy emergency contraception, they thought it was too expensive so they didn’t buy it.  While it’s so important to have a plan to prevent pregnancy, it’s just as important to actually follow through on that plan.  Now, Alex is figuring out how expensive having a baby is between diapers, day care, clothes, and bottles. Protecting against pregnancy is all about making sure you’re covered all the time. When there is a one-time slip up, emergency contraception is very effective at reducing the risk of unintended pregnancy and costs $50 at pharmacies- a lot cheaper than having a baby.  So take control, make a plan, and act on it!  Get started by checking our what works and what doesn’t for preventing pregnancy here!

When Lindsey found out she was pregnant, she started working lots of hours at a fast food restaurant to prepare for the money she’ll need to spend on the baby, but after looking at her budget, she finds out that she’ll probably spend double what she expected just buying things like a crib, clothes, diapers, and a car seat. Babies are expensive–before and after they’re born– and the expenses keep coming.  While part of being a teen is enjoying the freedom of only having to worry about yourself, being a parent means taking financial responsibility for a child.  And that’s a HUGE commitment.  And it’s not just about making financial sacrifices.  After her baby is born, Lindsey struggles with staying home with the baby all day and being alone. She misses her old life hanging out with friends, partying, hunting, and training for cage fighting matches. When the baby is six weeks old, she plans to go back to work and back to training for cage fighting, but she knows finances are tight and she might have to make even more sacrifices. Want to avoid the worries of juggling different jobs to provide, leaving behind college plans or even giving up activities that you love to do? Then make a plan to avoid unintended pregnancy!  Get started by checking out what works and what doesn’t to protect yourself against unintended pregnancy here.

Photo: (MTV)

Ohio State University — known for Buckeyes football, raging tailgates and loyal fans — welcomed sex columnist Dan Savage to the party tonight. But college isn’t always all fun and games, as Dan learned when Emily shared her difficult story, watch after the jump:

+The Deets

Emily was interested in a friend from class, and accepted an invitation to hang out. He made a forceful move on her and reacted angrily when she said no, even calling her a bitch. The experience has made Emily feel guilty, question herself, her own judgment and other guys.

+The (SEX)perts Weigh in

No one has the right to make decisions about your body except for you, ever. Emily was brave to stand up for herself and leave, but she needs to understand he was in the wrong. No one should ever guilt you into feeling you owe it to them to have sex, said Dan:

“You are allowed to express conditional interest in another human being and that doesn’t invite sexual assault or make you responsible for sexual assault,” he said. What that guy did to Emily was his attempt to belittle and demean her, and it is totally unacceptable.

“It hurts me that you are sitting here feeling shredded, that it worked,” Dan told Emily. “You need to give yourself some credit!”

You get to decide each and every time if sex is what you want, and even if you have said yes before doesn’t mean you ever have to again.

+What You Can Do

Know your limits. Not everyone is having sex — in fact half of all teens in high school haven’t had sex — and you don’t have to either, it is totally up to you. Just like Emily, make sure to vocalize how you feel in a situation. Stand up for yourself, and never be ashamed to follow your gut.

If anyone is harming you either physically or mentally, get help. There are tons of support services available, either on school campuses or you can use one of the resources below:

Love is Respect: National Dating Abuse Helpline
1-866-331-9474 | 1-866-331-8453 TTY
Available 24 hours a day by phone or online at www.loveisrespect.org.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Available 24 hours a day, every day, in English and Spanish.

National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Online Hotline also available at www.rainn.org.

For more information on sexual health visit It’s Your Sex Life and enjoy some of our favorite Dan-isms of the night below:

Real Talk of the night:
“Everybody gets their heart broken.”

Best football commentary from Dan:
“What inning is it?”

Most inaccurate Walk of Shame scouting:
“She’s carrying books! She must have slept with someone who has a studying fetish.”

Best new state slogan:
“Everything about Ohio was awesome, they use condoms!”

Famous sex-columnist Dan Savage answers students’ questions on the new MTV series Savage U. What did he learn from the experience? It’s Your Sex Life got answers:

++You’re a world-renowned sex, dating and relationship expert, so you’ve pretty much heard it all.  While traveling to all these college campuses, was there a particularly surprising or unexpected question?

It wasn’t new, I’ve heard it before, but I’m still surprised by how many people — male and female, but more often male — insist they would never date someone they hooked up with. Because, you know, people who hook up… they’re just not relationship material, you know? It never seems to register with the person making this observation — this value judgment — that they themselves are not “relationship material.” By their own definition they’re not! Because they hooked up too.

They know they’re not sleazes, even if they did something sleazy, but they assume that the person they got sleazy with must be a sleaze. Not someone who did something sleazy, but a sleaze. The double standard and magical/tragical thinking here is equal parts sad and hilarious.

++ Why did you want to do this show? Why is talking with young people about sex and all the issues that go along with sex like using protection and getting tested for STDs so important to you?

I wanted to bring the kind of conversation I have with my readers and listeners to television. Sex is fun, it’s a wonderful thing, but there are risks. Control those risks as best you can and then get out there and enjoy yourself while being considerate of the feelings and rights of others. That “do unto others” stuff, you know?

Often what you see on TV about sex—people going for it, having sex without any thought being given to the risk—is in conflict with what you hear about sex on TV. What you hear is, basically, “Don’t have sex unless it’s 100% safe! Responsible people only have risk-free sex!” There is no such thing as risk-free sex, of course. And that message about risk—it’s never okay to take a risk—is undermined by all the risk taking we see people, real and fictional, engage in on television.

A show that acknowledges the risks, talks about them, informs people about them, and then empowers them to make their own choices—their own informed choices, which can include the choice to take a risk—is something new.

Watch Savage U Tuesdays at 11/10c and check back for more from Dan Savage on It’s Your Sex Life.

++The deets:

The student and his girlfriend Deb admit they are regularly having unprotected sex, without condoms or birth control pills. “When I’m in the mood, I’m not thinking about pregnancy,” he said. Both say they don’t want to have a baby, but just can’t be bothered with birth control or condoms.

++The (SEX)perts weigh in

Where to even begin! This couple is taking a huge gamble EVERY time they have unprotected sex. It’s hard to imagine why they would even go there– risking getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease on a regular basis, and they can’t seem to come up with any excuse.  As Dan asked on the show, “Are you insane??”

Dan is completely distressed by this couple’s casual approach to not using protection, with good reason. About 1 in 2 sexually active young people will contract an STD by the age of 25. And a sexually active teen who doesn’t use protection has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within a year. Those odds ain’t in this couple’s favor!

++The good news

Protecting yourself from STDs and pregnancy is easy if you plan ahead. And life can be a lot less stressful if you just take responsibility up front, instead of having to wonder after the fact.

++What you can do:
If you’re having sex (any kind—oral, anal or vaginal) be proactive and make a plan. There are many different methods of protection out there, so learn more in the What Works/What Doesn’t feature or talk to your doctor about what method works best for you. A few popular methods are:

•  Condoms (when used consistently and correctly each and every time) are the ONLY method that can help reduce your risk of contracting an STD AND prevent pregnancy. Read up on condoms here.
• The pill doesn’t provide any protection against STDs but it is 99 percent effective at preventing pregnancy when used correctly.
• The shot protects against pregnancy for 3 months (which may be helpful for the more forgetful ladies out there) and is 99 percent effective when used correctly. But again, only condoms provide protection from STDs.

If you’re waiting to have sex, take a deep breath, you don’t have to worry about pregnancy just yet. But even if you aren’t having sex, know that some STDs can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, so consider using a condom if any sexual contact is going on.

For more information on sexual health visit It’s Your Sex Life and enjoy some of our favorite Dan-isms of the night below:

Best hair-cut advice:

“You should style your vulva however it is that you want to style your vulva”

Best SAT-style analogy:

“Women reading Cosmo and then having certain expectations are like guys watching hard-core porn and having certain expectations.” –Dan trying to convince ladies to put down the Cosmo.

Best relationship advice that applies to all areas of life:

“Stay in the game, say optimistic and don’t get bitter”

Best call out:

“That old song, ‘Oh I can’t feel anything with a condom’ is bull$#*!” –Dan putting the myth that condoms take away all sensation to rest.